How I find joy in each season (LIFE)

I am beyond excited for the approaching summer, which feels so distant with the dreary San Antonio weather we’ve been having. Each day cloudy, yet each day persistent to move the seasonal train forward into warmth and sunshine. And the excitement is the conductor! 

This entire last year, Mel has had a running joke that each season they experience becomes their new favorite season. And I agree entirely with the continued optimism! Since moving back to Texas this past August, there has been a renewed sense of wonder and want for experience. It feels like experiencing life with a new lens. But I have to say, I have discovered my least favorite season! 

Late spring! (Dun dun dunnnnnn!) 

My reasoning could be simply because of the harshness of the allergies, which I’m sure many, if not all, residents of Texas are used to battling. Well I definitely took my losses of said battles this year! And the continuous dripping nose and slight fatigue is enough to make me wanna shout and lay flat on my back until my body finishes what feels like an eternal drain.. I’m only slightly kidding, once you take a kneel to the mighty antihistamines, it becomes much more bearable. 

And the reasoning might be the feeling of rain just outside of our reach. With our larger than life clouds becoming dark and flattened, it’s easy to feel an impending… something that fades into atmospheric monotony. And don’t even get me STARTED on humidity! But, once you can accept that a sky set straight out of a Batman comic panel is the new norm, it becomes easier to be grateful for the cloud cover. To worry less about sun exposure (though you should lather on the spf everyday!). To feel more ambient when you decide to tuck into a movie or a game during the early evening. Lately we’ve been playing Minecraft quite a bit, Mel and I just started a new survival world. Though, due to my pride I suppose, I’ve had to take a step back. After being slain multiple times by a skeleton, posed perfectly on a cliff edge, and then discovering (on my quest for self vengeance) that he is now dawning my full set of armor, and my sword! That’s just messed up man… 

Perhaps the reasoning is that the period of time, between spring and summer, is brimming too much with anticipation. So much excitement for a future not yet tangible. Of trips to bodies of water, and days spent with my mama, who is free from the Spring semester in Academia. These cloudy days cannot help but feel stagnant and paled in comparison. But maybe, I can find excitement in that too. In the period of waiting, the period of wanting. Maybe it is more to do with how I process the yearning, and how I interpret this feeling of lack. 

My hope is that this time next year (or maybe this time tomorrow! If I am able to fully actualize this optimism), I will feel more acceptance with the boredom of this “side” season. I won’t take the cloud cover for granted, perhaps I’ll learn to love solo dates into nature; when the sun does not beat down onto soft human skin. 

I am always aching to find more light, acceptance, and hope in my time on earth in a human body. To not look at stormy days, both internally and externally, as a threat to my wellbeing. To find a continuous momentum, not wary of stopping and starting again, and not scared of falling because of itself. 

I will continue to try to see the brighter side of things!