SELF! Reflecting on a modeling session

This is one of my favorite pieces from a figure modeling session back in Portland. I wish I knew which artist drew this, she was so delightful, though, and didn’t seem too confident about how much I loved this!

I think it has so much character in it :)

Probably much more pizazz than I actually had in the moment; I always regret posing in this way, as my arms start to lock up and my head becomes a weight to keep up.

Once when I was modeling, a man had joked about how hard it was to capture the angle due to the strain of the pose. I remember feeling more angry than apologetic. Sillier in retrospect… it’s hard to keep still!

I miss modeling, and I would love to get back to it. I started initially because of the negativity I felt surrounding myself and my self image. I had so much hate for myself, and I could not figure out how to shake it. Throwing myself into total physical vulnerability opened up so many sets of eyes. I feel completely different about physicality now, and I am unbelievably grateful for it. I matter so much less and so much more (self self self!)